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Bumper Classics

This Car Makes Frequent Stops at Bad Decisions

This vehicle runs on poor judgment and premium gasoline.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

Blinker Fluid Running Low

Mechanics hate this one simple trick.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

Caution: I Brake for Nothing

You have been warned.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

My Other Car Is Also a Disappointment

Set your expectations accordingly.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

I'm Not Tailgating, I'm Drafting

It's called aerodynamics. Look it up.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

I Follow Too Close Because I Care

It's not tailgating, it's affection.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

Honk If You Love Peace and Quiet

A polite request, delivered at 110 decibels.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

I'm Not Speeding, I'm Qualifying

For the driver who treats every green light like the start of a race.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

My Driving Scares Me Too

Honesty on the highway.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

Warning: Driver Sings Loudly

Windows down, volume up, dignity gone.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

RearView

Back Off (Mirror Print)

Two words, backwards, for the tailgater.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

Nice Parking — Wait, You're Driving (Mirror Print)

Observation: parking skills do not transfer.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

Your High Beams Are On, Genius (Mirror Print)

A public service announcement for night drivers.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

I Can See You Picking Your Nose (Mirror Print)

We see everything.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

If You Can Read This You're Too Close (Mirror Print)

Backwards-printed to read correctly in a rearview mirror. Intended for the driver behind you.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

Smart-Ass Originals

I'm Not Arguing, I'm Explaining Why I'm Right

For the one who's always right (and can prove it).

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

Common Sense Isn't So Common

A rare commodity, now available as a bumper sticker.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

I'm Not Lazy, I'm Energy Efficient

Efficiency is a virtue.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

I Put the Pro in Procrastination

Putting the 'pro' in procrastination since always.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

Sarcasm: My Love Language

Fluent in sarcasm since forever.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

Political Satire

My President Is a Bumper Sticker

The most honest campaign ad ever printed.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

Congress: Where Good Ideas Go to Die

An equal-opportunity roast of the legislative process.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

My Other Vote Is None of Your Business

Your ballot, your business.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

Term Limits for Everyone, Including Me

A modest proposal for everyone in office.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

I Vote. I Complain. I'm Consistent.

Civic duty, with complaints included.

$9.99 + $5.29 shipping Buy now

Secure checkout via Square. Stickers print on demand in the USA and ship in 5–10 business days.